Madonna, in disguise as pop royalty, has entered her final transformation phase before becoming the hybrid cross of the Alien Queen and Jeff Goldblum’s The Fly. Any minute now a 1986 Sigourney Weaver is going to storm the corner and finish the job, Kabbalah or no Kabbalah. As part of the Queen’s plan, she is [...]

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What is it with these Rolling Stones and their constant need for young and nubile flesh? Grandad, Mick Jagger, detemined to show Ronnie Wood a thing or two, is reported to be “getting close” to the Sloaney 23 year-old Molly Miller Mundy, a daughter of one of Mick’s aristocratic friends. “I’m thrilled it’s not Paul [...]

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Getting your oats away with a girl barely out of her teens at the age of 61 is sadness personified. It’s like when you see those crumple-trousered men, with nicotine stained hair, stumble into the betting shop at 11 in the morning. Or the pee-stench of the old guy on the bus who tries to [...]

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Being in rehab for sex, drugs and drink addictions is testing for any marriage. Screwing a pouty Russian near-teen as well, is four years in couples counselling at least. If my husband’s behaviour warranted the headline “Eka Keeps Ron’s Pecker Up” (The Sun) I would be searching for Ashton Kutcher or one of Sadie [...]

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